Sunday, January 3, 2016

Dealing with elderly patients & their physicians -- from the daughter of an elderly woman

Visiting my mother’s physician was often a challenge. When she was ninety years old and had to see him I accompanied her (in the last few years of her life).  He had a good reputation as a physician, and I trusted his diagnosis, but he often took a long time to coax the problem out of my mother who was not able to speak very coherently then. The physician ignored me, as I sat next to her, until I stepped in, and without invitation, interjected information and concerns which were legitimate. If he had asked me what was going on at the start I could have told him and he could have corroborated that with my mother. Instead, he took forever to get information from my mom. He was always rushed toward the end of the visit and was not able to address any other issues she wanted to discuss. That meant another trip back to his office.

He also seemed to put down my suggestions and regard them as insignificant, but toward the end of the visit he would make the same suggestion I had made earlier. I chalked it up to his inflated ego.


Looking back over the past few years before my mother passed away I have a better perspective. I did not want to cross the line between my mother and her physician, but I also found her to be frustrated by the visits. If I had it to do over, would I do it differently? Yes, but still maintaining respect. Maybe the experience will help me in the future. 

My mother often found comfort with her Maine Warmers' Neck Warmer. It helped a pinched nerve in
Woman using Maine Warmers Cozy Sheep to relieve neck pain
Sheep Neck Warmer
her shoulder and kept her warm on cold winter days.

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